Showing Is Better than Telling

Doubters Dragging You Down?

A question I frequently receive concerns being surrounded by negative friends, family members or co-workers and how discouraging they can be. A few days ago, I received another such email:

“My husband just doesn’t get it – I try to explain the laws of attraction, but he always rejects the idea, and sometimes ridicules me for my gullibility. How can I get him to stop being so negative and see how important this is? I tried to get him to watch the movie ‘The Secret’ with me, but he just made fun of it and walked out. Is it possible to get results while I’m surrounded by all this negativity?”

First, let me say that it’s not only wives who face this issue. Husbands can also encounter indifference to the ideas and concepts of meditation, self-help or manifestation work.

And you probably also have a few friends and co-workers who seem intent on gifting you with a smothering cloud of negativity. Here’s how to handle that: first of all, shut up. And I mean that in the best way possible.

Do Your Own Thing … Quietly

What’s happening is that your husband (wife, co-worker, friend) is a follower and needs lots of proof before he’ll step out and risk believing in something so different from his current world values.

After all, if he were to believe in “that stuff,” most of his friends would probably laugh at him. And even the toughest, bravest, most battle hardened man withers under laughter (and not just men – almost every human alive).

So forget what your husband believes. It’s not important to you. In fact it has nothing to do with what you believe, in any way.

Don’t ever try to explain to or persuade ANYBODY who hasn’t specifically asked. That’s not your job. Being “right” is the farthest thing from your job. You should be demonstrating … and only demonstrating.

When you’ve moved forward and overwhelmingly shown in your own life that your values are true, that they are powerful and get BIG results, then he’ll come sniffing around, wondering how he can get some of that too. Remember, results persuade better than anything else. One word of caution — never, never, ever, not even in a moment of weakness, say “I told you so,” no matter how true. Ever. Ever. Ever.

Also keep in mind that positive is ALWAYS stronger than negative. Always. Now, negative can SEEM stronger because it’s often quicker. But it has far less staying power, plus it’ll leave filthy footprints right through the living room of your life.

Good Intentions

Please never lose sight of this: the people around us are not really fighting us. And they’re not dragging their feet, nor trying to hold us back. They’re just showing us how much they love us and care about us. They don’t want us to be disappointed by all this fringe-element woo-woo stuff (at least, that’s what THEY think it is). They’re just trying to keep us safe, according to what they believe.

So the best thing to do is quietly accept the positive energy that your spouse is offering – accept it in the SPIRIT that it’s being offered, and lightly skip over the specifics.

Let the good intention in his energy be merged with the good in your own energy and help you forward even faster, to a place where he can finally see for himself, unmistakably and irrefutably, that SOMETHING is happening.

When that soaks through to his awareness, he’ll come sidling around to find out what’s going on.

That is, he’ll come around if he hasn’t been pushed into taking a strong stand against what you’re doing. There’s nothing more stubborn than a person who feels s/he must defend something said in a rash moment. Just remember that “quietly, gently and easily” mark the most effective path.

Or as Pat Boone said in one of his movies many, many years ago, “Showin’s better’n tellin’.”

Cheers from sunny Japan,


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